my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize