This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
