Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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