I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
