I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
