That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
