so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
