Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
