I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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