Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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