More tranny stories later!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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