just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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