Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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