who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
