He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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