Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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