the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
