I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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