So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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