Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
