just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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