I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
