Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
