She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
