They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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