the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
