Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
