oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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