one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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