I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
