Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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