I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
