Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
