Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
