addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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