Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize