I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
