My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
