theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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