nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize