The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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