its not stalking. its research.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
