She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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