don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
