I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
