i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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