she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
