he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize