It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
