Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
