Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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