Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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