never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This house was built for laser tag.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
