Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
