oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
try to milk me bitch
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