I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
