then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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