didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
