I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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