I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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