Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
